whispered wind and cracked cement

 I couldn’t imagine anything harder than stepping away from church and breaking my family’s heart.

Stepping away was excruciatingly hard for me, but even harder on my heart was knowing the pain it would cause on those I loved.

Staying would have been one hundred times easier in so many ways.  I couldn’t have done it without God.

I couldn’t even talk about it with many people for quite some time because just the effects in my own family were heartbreaking and took some time to stabilize and heal.

I didn’t have many people there for me, and yet I was often the one trying to comfort others.  That is a painful and almost completely overwhelming spot to be in.